I Hate My Life!

Dear Tamara:

I am 24 years old, about to turn 25 in three months. All of my friends are getting married and having babies and I don’t even have a boyfriend or any prospects. On top of that, I’m working a dead-end job and making very little money. If it wasn’t for my dad, I couldn’t even afford to pay my monthly rent. My life sucks right now and I don’t know what to do to make it better please help!

T. Mitchell


Dear T.:

Believe it or not, you are not the only person who has ever felt frustrated with their life or to proclaim “I hate my life!” Many people have fallen into a rut and were unsure how to get out. Many people are unhappy with their jobs and struggling to make ends meet. I too have been where you are. If you are not satisfied with so many areas of your life it is definitely time for you to make some changes.

The first thing you need to do is to stop comparing yourself to others. You have to get clear about what it is you want in your life. Don’t decide what you want in your life by the things that other people have in their lives. Take some time to consider what it is you would like to have in your life, and then go get it. Take full responsibility for where you are now and make the decision to make some real changes.

If you are unhappy with your job start looking for new one. One that better suits you and pays you the salary you desire. This may mean that you need to reassess your skills and qualifications, redo your resume, or get additional education and training. You have to do your homework and take action. A new job is not going to just knock on your door.

If you are searching for a relationship, I encourage you to put yourself in social situations where you can meet someone new. In addition, date yourself, hang out with friends and family and don’t put all your focus on finding a mate. Instead, take this time to focus on you and get the other areas of your life where you want them to be. Become the best you that you can be so that you have something positive to contribute to a new relationship.

You are fortunate to have a parent that can help you when needed, but I also know the importance of being financially independent. If your rent is too high, it may be time to move or maybe consider getting a roommate to help share living expenses. Pare down, look at your budget and see where you can make some changes and possibly save more money.

It looks like there are many things in your life that you would like to change. The good news is that you have the power to make some different choices and change your own life, no one else can do it for you. Don’t try to tackle everything at once, that can also be frustrating and overwhelming. Pick a few goals in the most critical areas and begin making changes. Once you accomplish one goal, add something else to your plate and keep going until you are satisfied and more fulfilled.


Tamara Hartley is the author of Stop Wasting Your Time Blaming Others for Your Life, and REAL Advice from REAL ExperienceShe uses her personal life experiences and lessons learned to give others a different perspective and help them make critical decisions in their life, relationships and careers. Email questions to advice@YourAdviceGuru.com or on Twitter @YourHowToCoach using the hashtag #AskTamara.

Tamara is also a personal success and “How-To” coach and helps individuals figure out “the how” to make their dreams their reality. Learn more about her coaching programs at www.YourHowToCoach.com.

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